i am drunk. i am sooooooo behind. hhjfeashi i drunk wove you all. its my birthdaym i turned 21. i legal to drink. orlando bloom is hot. johnny doing orlando is hot.


my boyfgriend i love him. i want rto marry him. thejhgidbsdtfrklhjdhuiobmk,

okay so. i have this well problem. okay its not my prob really. its just soemthing that has been erking the fuck out of me for a long while now.

as you all know i work at WAL-MART now.okay so. at the beging of the store opening i became friends with this guy that is the surpervisor right next to my department. i liked him t first. his personality is what got me. but i wouldnt do anything at that time casue i was still dating my boyfriend of what would have been three years at that time. i was to in love with baby. anyway. i flirted with the guy. just like any flirty girl would right?

so soemthing had happened between us and we didnt speak for about two weeks. weeks of hell.
then i go over to him and we start taking like (the unspoken) thing nevr happened. he start talking to this one girl and i have no prob. he doesnt belong to me anyway. i just dont trust the girl is all, i mean evertime im around obe of my coworkers she comes up and starts to talk about him. i have nothing against that. but why the fuck does she have to give me a nasty fucking look everytime she sees me. i think she is perpossly doing this. it is getting to the point wher i will go up to her and ask her why she is disrespecting me like that. all i have ever said was hi to her. its not like i ignored her or anything. i even asked her a question about what its like to with the same sex and she told me. cause i said i was curius. but nothing farther then that. then she would come over to my deparment and talt t one of the girls that i was talking to like we werent even have a conversation to begin with. i get so pissed off when she does that. but do i say anything.

no. i dont. i hold my tongue. cause im the nicer of us to. i dont give her dirty looks. granted i might slipup and talk about her. like how she has her hair that day. but nothing other then that. im not like those stuck up bitches that go after people and horasses then just make myself feel better. that just completly wrong to do anyway. i mean would ou like it if some one did it to you. i've had to deal with it all my life cause when my grandfather died *i was close to him8 i started turn to food to comfort me. so a grew up being heavy half of my life. but now im changeing that. but anyway thats not the piont here.

the piont is that. why does she think she better then me. i dont do anything to make her think that. i do my work and talk to the few people that i do talk to at work then go the hell home. im lucky if i dodnt get pissed off about a customer being so fucking stupid that they cant see the price if it hit them in the face repeatedly. or if a guy asking me where soemthing is but is looking like he is talk to to his daughter instead because he couldnt fucking say this word right and it sounded like soemthing else.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

STUPID PEOPLE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. I DONT HAVE A SIGHN ON ME THAT SAYS ASK MY STUPID QUESTION AND GET A SMART REPLY. NOW DO I.

NO I DONT. SO FUCK OFF.

okay i really have had enough.the asswhole at my work last night didnt do a god damn fucking thing last night. and i am always being asking and told that im distancing myself from people. well im sorry. i have change for fucks sakes. shit. just because i like something that you dont doesnt mean you have to look and me like i have two heads.

i like a lot of things. that my boyfriend or whatever doesnt know about. im starting to think if he even knew me at all. i have changed and people cant get over that shock. im not always going to bubbly and grose happy. i just want to make it clear. i dont like certain people anymore and a certain man in my life is going to find that out eventualy. and no im saying this to be mean or anything. im saying this people would the fuck off my back and let me have time to myself.

i dont even know who i am. im always catering to those who need elp. i never pay attention to myself. i always hide behind walls and never let my true feels show. so i have decide that i will. i am not going to be going to people. im not going to cater to those who "think" they need help. im not going to put myself last. im putting myself first. for the first time in my life its time that i start living my life. not what people want or think i should be like,i get through this and still have my man then i will be happy. but i loose him on the way i find another. there are more fish in the sea as the saying goes. i will find the right one. but right now. i have to take care of something. something that i have to do no matter how it hurts this person that i hold so close to my heart.

okay. so this is the second day that im sick. fist time today i took my temp. it was 102.1 now it went down to 101. but i still feel like crap. i know that when i get back to work that i will eithe get a talking to or written up. but at this point i could really carless. this job that im at aint worth ll that much to me. but it pays my bills. thats all i can say. any way back to sleep now.

so anyway. im sitting here listening to music and i cant get one thing out of my mind. i keep have this weird ass daydream about this guy. i have no idea who it is. just this tall guy with the most gorguess brown eyes. (AND NO ITS NOT ORLANDO BLOOM) its werid cuze i dont know anyone with brown eyes. okay so i'll tell you about it then we'll see kay.

it starts with me at some hangout eatery place. i dont know. so im sitting there just drinking and this guy keeps coming up to me. i cant help but be pulled into his stare. he holds my gaze for the longest time then just disappears.

but when the daydream is over its like i know who he is and that is the scary thing. i dont know who he is. damn it.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 56.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next seven sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
6. Tag five other people to do the same.




THE ROAD.


WE'VE BEEN OVER ALL THIS.I DIDNT BRING MYSELF TO THIS.I WAS BROUGHTAND NOW IM DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT NOT EVEN TELLING YOU. THAT WOULD PROBABLY HAVE BEEN BEST.

i always stay home. but if its not that bead to wher i can lift my head off my pillow i go in. dude the only thing i can to that is that i need the money around the holidays. im gonna try to stay late at work to get more cash. but yeah i stay at home and fart around on the computer. looking for orlando bloom pictures or writing a sory thats stuck in my head. that i always delete anyway so whats the point in trying.

hey evry one. i am not going to be bitching about anything your safe this time, im just bored and i really dont know what to do. i've finished my book oh my god. i am so happy on the way she ended it. laurel k hamilton has such a great imagination to write. i wish i could write storys and books like her. she is amazing my favorite writer thus far.

but im waiting. like a good little girl that i am. im so i dont know. this time last year i went to a him concert. not what do i have to look forward to huh? nothing. i love that band they are amazing and talented. and hot. espacially Ville Valo the lead singer. i love his vioce. thats the part of im in love with. i have never heard anythin glike it. it has an edge to it but it is also so sweet and inviting that you get hipnotized by it. you just want to listen to his voice for ever. well atleast i do. god what his voice can do....... ( goes into a dream state)...


oh sorry didn't mean to space out.

okay so
yay yay

HERE IS THE LINK TO SEE IT LARGER. HOPE YOU ENJOY. i didnt draw this i found it on a website. its noot my work.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=4739583&albumID=2251165&imageID=48046158

earlier this morning a worker from wal-mart up in new york was trempled to death from a restless crowd of stuck up, money hungery cursed son all mother fuckers out their. these crude disgusting people didnt even feel this porr person under their feet. that is disgusting to man kind. to who ever went to the wal-mart in new york. go to hell. you shuold have stoped. that person was propably screaming for you people to stop but you didnt. you just wanted to get what you needed for your loved ones and not think about others that want to make it home. now that person will not be celabrating another christmas again.

their family has to be so hurt and confused at how ignorant the fucking human race has become. everyone of needs to die. everyone who has killed or hurt or wounded another needs to FUCKING DIE.


THE HUMAN RACE NEEDS TO START OVER. WE NEED TO COME TOGETHER TO GET THE TROOPS BACK HOME SAFE AND SOUND. BUT NO. POEPLE THAT WANT TO MAKE THEIR FAMILYS HAPPY HAS KILLED A WAL-MART ASSCIATE. FOR SHAME.


GET IT TOGETHER AMERICA. WE NEED TO STAND TOGETHER NOT KILL EACH OTHER OVER THE MOST STUPID,SUPERFICAIL THINGS THAT WE THINK WE NEED.

this song has something that speaks to me. but i just have no idea about. i want to use it in a story that i cant quit get out of my head. i has to with a really good looking man. Named well... thats the thing. i dont know who to use. im torn between three people.
Orlando Bloom/ and another female character
Orlando Bloom? with a male character.

Viggo Mortenson and another female character or anotjer male character(mainly orlando.)

or johnny depp,


but i have no idea how to use johnny as a charater in my story cause well. he is more out ther than i am sometimes, and plus he acts a whole lot werider them me at times. but weird is a good thing right? i mean it is at certain pionts.so yeah anyway. please i need a beta to help me out with this.

or should i use the singer of the song, i mean he did right it.

The Sacrament"

I hear you breathe so far from me
I feel your touch so close and real
And I know
My church is not of silver and gold,
It's glory lies beyond judgement of souls
The commandments are of consolation and warmth

You know our sacred dream won't fail
The sanctuary tender and so frail
The sacrament of love
The sacrament of warmth is true
The sacrament is you

I hear you weep so far from me
I taste your tears like you're next to me
And I know
My weak prayers are not enough to heal
Oh the ancient wounds so deep and so dear
The revelation is of hatred and fear

You know our sacred dream won't fail
The sanctuary tender and so frail
The sacrament of love
The sacrament of warmth is true
The sacrament is you

The sacrament is you
The sacrament is you
The sacrament is you
The sacrament is you

You know our sacred dream won't fail
The sanctuary tender and so frail
The sacrament of love
The sacrament of warmth is true
The sacrament is you

You know our sacred dream won't fail
The sanctuary tender and so frail
The sacrament of love
The sacrament of warmth is true
The sacrament is you

okay so today i went o work at 10 and got done a 7. yeah. im working nine hour shifts a day. but the thing is i just had two days off and i fee like shit. i cant go to my doctors cuase im not insured yet. i have to wait unit feburay. yay me. and no im not copying london from the suite life on disney. she has been copying me. i have been saying that for yeas. anyway.

so yeah.

and now i cant eeven get into my works website to update a few things. GREAT. Just FUCKING GREAT. caue someone tried to get into it. fuck. thats just great. anyway.

anyw way

only because i fel so alone right now. maybe i'll make it into a orlie storie.
plus i like the number 666 yay 666

Your Sweet Six Six Six"

There are things you should know
And the distance between us seems to grow
But you're holding on strong
And, oh, how hard it is to let go, oh, so hard to let go

I'm waiting for your call and I'm ready to take your
Six six six in my heart
And I'm longing for your touch and I welcome your sweet
Six six six in my heart (oh, my heart)

I'm losing my faith in you
But you don't want it to be true
But there's nothing you can do
There is no thing you can do - yes, I've lost my faith in you

Waiting for your call
And I'm ready to take your six six six in my heart
And I'm longing for your touch and I welcome your sweet
Six six six in my heart
Right here in this heart

Oh,
Right here in this heart
I'm lonely

And I know it's too late
Oh, my god you're so lonely

I'm waiting for your call and I'm ready to take your
Six six six in my heart
And I'm longing for your touch and I welcome your sweet
Six six six in my heart
I'm ready for the fall and I'm ready to take your
Six six six in my heart
Longing for your touch and I welcome your sweet
Six six six in my heart
Right here in this heart
Right straight through my heart
Oh, right here in my heart

okay so today. i went to work for six and a half hours. im suppossed to work at least nine hours. what the fuck. im only making 32 hrs this week. im full time at a new job i might add. and this pisses me off. i mean come on. i said that i would what ever hours they would give me. but no. they gave three days off. (i am not complaining) but i want 40 fucking hours.







i saw THE DUCHESS on friday. OH MY GOD. IF SHE DOESNT GET AN OSCAR I WILL GO TO WHERE THE OSCARS ARE AND BEAT THEM WITH AN UGLY STICK.

KIERA KNIGHTLEY . OH MY GOD. she was amazing. she really out did herself for the role. she really but her heart into it. you can tell. i mean she is great in anyother role she has done in the past obut she really really did the most amzing acting ever. she brought the Duchess Of Devenshire to life. and it was a real life story to. i have the book. and the book is great to. it really gets into the way women were treated back them. like the fact that ,the duke for ex., he married Goergina when she was 17. on te hopes that she can produce and heir to the throne. a son. but the fact that she has two girls fist but a little more urgency on the situatoin. she was only to give birth to a son. not two girls. her washer third child.

so anyway. im gonna stop here and let go and see the movie.



gogogogogogo. give kiera the support that she so needs right now. its good. i promise. nope sorry. its FANTASTIC.

okay i know. why do i have an icon of britney spears on my site. i absalutley love this picture. she is just so cute. i mean look at that smile.


anyway.


i can get something out of my head. i want to but it just doesn t want to come out.

i heard that Disney got Johnny Depp to sin up for pirate of the caribbean 4. but the thing that gets me is why. pirates is an amzing triligy dont yell at me but. i mea come on. i think they took it to the greatest hight that they could. i mean i has to be a killer for johnny to have to always say goodbye to CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW. but then again ORLANDO BLOOM nad KEIRA KNIGHTLEY both said that they want to leave the pirates world behind them and get on with whatever other projects that want to do.

i mean HELLO ORLANDO BLOOM HAS DON TWO TRILIOGYS. COUNT THEM ONE TWO.
LORD OF THE RINGS (which made him the most beautifull respected and amazing actor that he is today. the only thing is he hasnt done anything movie wise)and PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

keira knightley has a new movie comeing out. FINALLY i cant wait personally. i really want to see THE DUCHESS. it lokks really really good.

plus johnny has a good handfull of movie to complete. he has one that is to comeout by the end of this most likley. then another, then the 3-D Alice in wonderland with the greatest director of my time Tim Burton. which Depp will be playing the Mad Hatter. which means he will not be the upcoming bat man movie. which was rumored that he would be plaything the riddler. so yeah, sorry if i going on and on.



oh and Disney wants to kill of WILL TURNER. so for all us Will Turner fans looks like we are in a loss. Disney claimed that orlando blooms's charcter no longer has a roll in the films. but if you ask me. he does. i might be the only that sees it, but there is a love triangle going on here.

it would be.... Staton. Form the book series DAUGHTERS OF THE MOON. He is so very understanding on a lower lever. And he trys to help.

Hey everyone. I haven't been on in a while and thought I should update my profile. So I will try to do that later, cause now I'm on my sidekick id. Phone. But anyway. I have been having truoble writing a story about orlando bloom. Ifs to a song called THE CAGED. By a band named H.I.M. I love song and its so beautiful. Just like orlandos body and his sexy voice.

Today is my last day at Boscovs. I love the people I work with but hate the pay. I found another job not far from boscovs so I will be able to see the people. But yeah I can't wait.

But I really don't want to say goodbye to my girl Sandy. She I the shit. I love her. Even though she is way older then me. Like 52. But she is so cool. I will miss her dirty humor. And Kim Baily. Aka Baily. I will miss when she looks and a new shirt she will "oh my god. It is sssoooo ccuuutte. Isn't this cute" or when she talks about Johnny Depp she'll go " can't you just eat him up with a spoon".

And finally I will miss carol. The greatest funnest and sweetest manager in the world. ( along with Baily. But you have to watch out with her.) But yeah.

I will miss my friends. But I am hoping to make more and have a hell of a lot of fun.

Hell fucking yes. He deserves it. He was just getting started with his career and family with his daughter. Till the fucking cold hearted bitch twat and a luosy excuse for a human Mary-kate stepped in and killed him. That son off bitch is walking around like nothing ever fucking happen.

So yes Heath Ledger deserves to get an oscar. He was so amazingly great.

REST IN PEACE HEATH